The phone rang, there was the usual delay that I've come to associate with these calls and then the person at the other end of the line asked if I was Mr Bradley. I asked who they were, and kept asking until they gave me the usual line. At this point the conversation starts properly:
Me: I have to tell you that my name is Inspector Smith of the Royal Metropolitan, and I'm currently at this address, investigating a murder.
Me: We've been checking the telephone records for this number and you have been ringing them quite often over the last few weeks. I need to know why you are calling this number.
Them: We're a computer company, trying to fix a problem with the computer.
Me: You do realise that attempting to delete information off a computer owned by someone who has been murdered is an international offence, and you can be extradited to stand trial in the UK for obstructing justice?
Them: <Silence again>
Me: I need to speak to your supervisor. We have tracked your number and have your name. We need to know how you know the person who was murdered.
Them: <Er..er.. I'm very sorry to hear that>
Me: Yes, I image you are. If you do not pass me to your supervisor, you can be charged with obstruction of justice.
Them: Please wait.... <pause>
Them: Worried (different voice) H-hallo?
Me: Yes - I'm from the Royal Metropolitan. We need to know why you are trying to connect to the computer of someone who has been murdered - we suspect as part of a gangland drugs war. What is your association with the deceased.
Them: <panicked> Nothing! No! No, nothing! We were just ringing to fix his system.
Me: So you were not the person who murdered this contact?
Them: No! No sir! Nothing to do with me - I didn't do it!
Me: Ah HA! So you admit that you know there was a murder, you say that it wasn't you... who did commit it?
Them: I don't know! We were just ringing to help fix the computer.
Me: You mean delete the evidence of the drugs cartel don't you!
Them: No! We know nothing about any drugs, or any murder.
Me: Yes, the guilty always deny all knowledge. I have to tell you that we have your names and addresses and the contact details of your company. We will be asking the local law enforcement agency to arrest you on suspicion.
Them: No! No! No, no no!
Me: Yes! Yes! Yes, yes yes! Admit it, you're a cold blooded killer arn't you.
Them: <click> brrrrrrrr.
Not exactly word for word, but close enough I think. Next time they call I think I might try and involve them in a Satanist ritual. Much fun to be had, I think.