If it's all getting a bit much for you, and you need a break from Bing crooning, Noddy belting it out and Sir Cliff being all Cliffy.... there are plenty of cynical, cruel and completely inappropriate songs to cut the sweetness of the season. In no particular order:
Merry nondenominational holiday to you. Let's start off gentle, with a sweet little ditty that celebrates the season, without celebrating the season, if you see what I mean.
This next one is.. strange. Christopher Lee, heavy metal and Christmas carols. What could possibly go wrong?
Anyone remember Spitting Image? This is one of their greatest. Worrying I think it's even more appropriate now than it was when it first came out.
Christmas with the Devil, by Spinal Tap. A cheering little ditty.
We Wish You'd Bury the Missus / Moe Teitlebaum. This is very dark and macabra. Not to everyone's taste, so be warned.
Tim Minchin - White Wine in the Sun. As with anything Tim does it's very clever, brittle and powerful. This is being sold on iTunes, with proceeds in December going to charity.
It's beginning to look a lot like fishmen. Think Christmas, Lovecraft and 1950s American chewns.It's worryingly catchy.. you'll find yourself humming along.
Another Lovecraftian one. 'I'm dreaming of a dead city.'
Ho Ho F*cking Ho. Kevin Wilson. Contains VERY bad language, and not to my taste at all. However, someone might like it.
Tom Lehrer. If you want biting cynicism, mixed with superb lyrics, you can't do better than Tom Lehrer. Sit back and enjoy his genius.
Merry Christmas you suckers. A fun little cynical ditty. The lyrics are excellent.
The night Santa went crazy. This is really amusing, if you like the idea of a crazed Santa going on the rampage and killing Prancer and the rest of them.
Dominick the Donkey. This is just..weird. An Italian Christmas donkey. Seriously.
The Anti Christmas Song. If you liked Bing and Bowie, then you probably won't like this.
Joss Stone - the Anti Christmas Carol. Not one of her best, to be honest.
The Anti Christmas song. Yup, another of them, with a horror turn.
Now, if you've made it this far - congratulations. I'm finishing with the very best Anti Christmas song that I know, which is also the most gentle, loving, sweet Christmas anthem that I know. It's quite simply, one of the best songs ever written. I give you the Pogues, with Kirsty McColl and The Fairytale of New York City.
Yuletide Felicititations.
Further suggestions received via Twitter and Facebook:
Hanoi Rocks; Dead by Xmas (punkish) at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wazW-nxF6FU
MDC; Black Christmas (also punkish) at
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lL3Oh27q0Sw
Come all ye faithful played on cash registers at
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QIgdwPc235Y
Alex Harvey Band - There's No Lights on the Christmas Tree Mother, They're Burning Big Lou at
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tyikYES2kd0
Anymore favourites? Let's have em.
Posted by: Phil Bradley | December 22, 2012 at 03:13 PM
Here's another seriously weird one:
"Carol Of The Belts" by Here Come The Mummies which has mummies thrusting their groins at you. Seriously.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BDiXPx2OqPI
Posted by: Phil Bradley | December 22, 2012 at 03:17 PM
Try out the wonderful Handsome Family performing 'So Much Wine' warning of the perils of mixing drink and Christmas. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QD2bS70o4Yk
Posted by: Jon Killick | December 22, 2012 at 09:36 PM