If it's all getting a bit much for you, and you need a break from Bing crooning, Noddy belting it out and Sir Cliff being all Cliffy.... there are plenty of cynical, cruel and completely inappropriate songs to cut the sweetness of the season. In no particular order:
Merry nondenominational holiday to you. Let's start off gentle, with a sweet little ditty that celebrates the season, without celebrating the season, if you see what I mean.
This next one is.. strange. Christopher Lee, heavy metal and Christmas carols. What could possibly go wrong?
Anyone remember Spitting Image? This is one of their greatest. Worrying I think it's even more appropriate now than it was when it first came out.
Christmas with the Devil, by Spinal Tap. A cheering little ditty.
We Wish You'd Bury the Missus / Moe Teitlebaum. This is very dark and macabra. Not to everyone's taste, so be warned.
Tim Minchin - White Wine in the Sun. As with anything Tim does it's very clever, brittle and powerful. This is being sold on iTunes, with proceeds in December going to charity.
It's beginning to look a lot like fishmen. Think Christmas, Lovecraft and 1950s American chewns.It's worryingly catchy.. you'll find yourself humming along.
Another Lovecraftian one. 'I'm dreaming of a dead city.'
Ho Ho F*cking Ho. Kevin Wilson. Contains VERY bad language, and not to my taste at all. However, someone might like it.
Tom Lehrer. If you want biting cynicism, mixed with superb lyrics, you can't do better than Tom Lehrer. Sit back and enjoy his genius.
Merry Christmas you suckers. A fun little cynical ditty. The lyrics are excellent.
The night Santa went crazy. This is really amusing, if you like the idea of a crazed Santa going on the rampage and killing Prancer and the rest of them.
Dominick the Donkey. This is just..weird. An Italian Christmas donkey. Seriously.
The Anti Christmas Song. If you liked Bing and Bowie, then you probably won't like this.
Joss Stone - the Anti Christmas Carol. Not one of her best, to be honest.
The Anti Christmas song. Yup, another of them, with a horror turn.
Now, if you've made it this far - congratulations. I'm finishing with the very best Anti Christmas song that I know, which is also the most gentle, loving, sweet Christmas anthem that I know. It's quite simply, one of the best songs ever written. I give you the Pogues, with Kirsty McColl and The Fairytale of New York City.